Livin' the Dream

So... It has been a couple of week now of my new found freedom and let me tell you, it is pretty spectacular! I won't lie, it is by no means all fun and games but compared to what I was doing on a daily basis at work, this is a cake walk!

I realize I am probably just experiencing beginners luck with this whole stay at home mom thing.  Who knows, I may be royally screwing up my kid without even realizing it but for now, I am having the best time!

Though I adore my sweet boy and am having a blast spending so much time with him I must tell you that one of the best perks of this gig I can say with four simple letters; Y-M-C-A.  I have had a membership for YEARS but never realized the true value because I never had time to actually go! I can go there as much as I want and they will watch my little one for as long as I want to work out... I don't even have to work out! I actually thought about getting dressed in my workout gear, dropping him off at child care, and going to read a book with a latte in the lobby! Is that terrible? Well, don't worry because I couldn't go through with it but one of these days it is going to happen.  No matter how easy being a stay at home mom looks everyone needs peace and quite for a few minutes here and there and you will not get it in the presence of a one year old.

I have managed to keep myself busy so far but it has given me a good chunk of time to think. This is both a good and a bad thing I am afraid.  I am only in my 20s for a few more months and in some ways I feel like I am starting over.  I went to school, had a full time job that very well could have been a career; but here I am, unemployed and not sure what I want to do for the rest of my life.  I love that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my boy but he is not going to need me at home forever.  What will I do when he is in school full time?  I don't want to wake up in 10 years and realize that my baby doesn't need me anymore and I have nothing to do with myself.  I need more.  

Being a social worker is very gratifying in some ways but after awhile it rubs you raw until all of your nerves are exposed.  I need to take advantage of this incredible opportunity that I have to not only raise my son but to do a little soul searching for myself and figure out what the dickens I am supposed to do! (Yes, I said "dickens." I am from the Midwest, okay?!)

P.S. I am exploring my love of food these days so stay tuned for some wicked recipes ;)